I’ve been looking for an answer to this question, since I was a teenager; “How to look more beautiful?”
When I was a little girl, I was always told how cute I was or how beautiful a young woman I would become one day. I believed it was true since it was nice to believe. Who doesn’t want to hear nice things as a child or even an adult? Everyone wants to be loved and praised. It’s in human nature.
As a little girl, the world was so simple to me. I was supposed to grow up, meet the charming prince and live happily ever after. But it wasn’t that easy as I got older. When I became a teenager, I realized that there was an unannounced competition among girls. A competition about, who was going to stand out in gatherings? Who would receive more attention? Who was going to be the most popular girl at high school or university? And so on. A competition that was nurtured by society, media, and even families.
No one would openly talk about it but everyone knew it existed. Well, as a result, I started to search for ways to be that one girl. But how? The first and easiest way was to compare me to others and find out how I could be the most beautiful?
Comparing myself became a habit and that competition never ended. In every stage of my life, the subject changed from the most beautiful girl in the room to the best student, the best daughter, the best employee, the best wife, the best mom and etc. The list was never-ending and there was always something that I wanted to be the best at.
One day I found out all I was doing in my life was searching for an answer to this question: “How can I be the best?” After a lot of thinking about why is it important to be always the best, I realized there was a most profound issue down in my unconscious mind. In fact, I wasn’t looking for being the best, I was running away from another question which I wasn’t even aware of: “Am I good enough?”
It was a bad day, believe me. It was the day that I started doubting everything. It wasn’t about how beautiful, attractive, smart, or successful I was anymore. It was about “who I was” or “if I was good enough at all”.
Self-doubt grew to anxiety and anxiety to depression. Depression took away everything from me; happiness, life purpose, energy, and literally everything which could be me.
It was a very long journey to realize what was missing in my life. After lots of reading, consulting sessions, and research I found the answer. What I needed to be me and live my life as I was supposed to, was one single and very important word; “self-confidence”.
Please do yourself a favor, Get more damn confident!
I’m sure as a female, my story could relate to almost every other woman in the world. We’ve all asked ourselves at least once; “Am I beautiful enough?”
We’ve all googled these questions to find the right answer; “How to be more attractive?”, “How to get more in shape?”, “How to look gorgeous?”, “How to be a good mom?”, “How to be a good wife?” and on and on. Haven’t we?
If you haven’t, believe me, you’re so lucky and you might not even know it.
Let me tell you what the magic ingredient is to look more beautiful and attractive: Wear confidence! Yes, confidence is the most effective way to look more beautiful. You need to know why I’ll tell you. Let’s first take a look at what confidence and self-confidence mean.
Confidence is a state of being clear-headed either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Confidence comes from the Latin word ‘fidere’ which means “to trust”; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self.
Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. It means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. You know your strengths and weakness well, and have a positive view of yourself. You set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively, and can handle criticism.
Why confidence is the best accessory a woman can wear?
So, based on the two sources I mentioned, self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. It’s about having trust in yourself.
Now take a moment and think about the most beautiful, attractive, and successful person you’ve ever met. Then go over another list of people who share the same characteristics. Or even simpler, imagine all the celebrities who walk on the red carpet and smile at cameras with the attitude of “Here I am”! Don’t they all look good? Don’t they convince everyone that they are beautiful, handsome, smart, and successful?
Ask yourself why? You might say; well, they are what they think. They’re rich, successful, and good-looking. That’s why they’re so confident about themselves. But what about me? I’m not a celebrity or anything. I’m just an ordinary person.
Yes, you’re right. You’re not a celebrity but have you ever thought another way. They’re confident about themselves and that’s why they’ve become rich and successful. They’re confident and that’s why they even look attractive.
Here’s the mistake we all make. We are not just ordinary people. We have so much potential in ourselves waiting to flourish. We just need to believe in our skills and abilities. We need to know our weaknesses and strengths well, set realistic expectations, and achieve small goals of a bigger goal.
If you believe in yourself and have an attitude that shows how confident you are, who could possibly not believe you?
But how to get confident?
- Stop comparing yourself to others!
Comparing is the enemy of self-confidence. Never ever compare your achievements to anyone else. There is only one version of you, being born in your family, in your town, and in the community, you belong to. You are made from so many different factors. You are unique, so is your life.
Stay focused on yourself and what you could do to grow and improve your skills and abilities.
- Find your limits!
You need to be honest with yourself and see why you don’t trust in yourself. Make a list of things that stop you from thinking positively about yourself and see how real they are. And make a plan to get over your fears consciously. Every time you doubt yourself, call your conscious and see how you could stop negative thoughts and energy. Have a plan to overcome your limits!
- Work on your attitude and body language
Remember, how important the first impression is. But why is it so important? It’s all about attitude and body language. The first impression is not about your opinions, your education, or your success. It’s about how confident you are about yourself and how you present yourself to the world.
Watch confident people, read more, and practice to look confident. The feedback you get from others is so rewarding that you will do it over and over again until it becomes as natural as breathing to you.
- Stay away from negativity and surround yourself with positivity
Stay away from people who make you feel bad about yourself. People who make you doubt your abilities and humiliate you. I can’t stop repeating it, stay away from anyone who makes you see yourself as not worthy and capable. Stay away from them even if they’re your family or your best friends. Fill your life with positive, successful, and supporting people.
Level-up your relationships, level-up your confidence!
Last but not least:
- Fake it until you make it!
Have you ever heard of this saying? “Fake it until you make it”. It works so well when it comes to confidence and communications. You need to imagine yourself as the person you wish to be or the person you want everyone to see in you and starts acting that way.
You will get anxious, stressed even embarrassed sometimes because you know you’re faking something which doesn’t exist. You might think everyone can through you and read your mind. You get stressed about what if they know how you really feel and think about yourself. But we all know, no one can read minds. At least not know.
Getting confident is like getting good at some skill. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
So start faking it until you make it!